The idea of having an open relationship seems very liberating for a lot of people. Simply put, this allows you to have romantic and even sexual experiences with other people. It’s not considered cheating however, and instead it allows you to focus more on experimenting and trying out things. While it can be fun for some people, it can also become a relationship time bomb. That does bring the question: what is an open relationship for you?
Understanding What an Open Relationship Actually Means
The idea of having an open relationship has been around for a very long time. And it’s clearly the type of relationship not a lot of people choose to have. Unlike a regular relationship, the open relationship is meant to be non-monogamous. Both partners have the option to have sexual or romantic experiences with other people.
However, there are various open relationship rules that you need to abide by. It might seem like a relationship without rules, but it’s actually more complex than you might expect. Another important aspect to note is that you can find many variations for these open relationships.
For example, there are couples looking for casual sex, partners that date others independently and situations with very specific boundaries. At their core, such relationships are all about mutual agreement, with set boundaries that are meant to make everyone safe and happy.
Why do people opt for an open relationship?
- Some people think that a regular relationship is very restrictive, so an open one would allow a lot more freedom.
- There are others who are very curious about trying new things and exploring their sexuality. It could also be a way for them to explore new fantasies and reignite excitement in their relationship.
- Plus, with an open relationship, you can avoid secrecy, since you can have sex with other people, provided that you get your partner’s consent for that.
- It also improves the psychological beliefs some people have when it comes to love. It allows them to show that love can’t be owned, nor can it be limited in any way.
Is It Really Liberating?
While there are plenty of open relationship rules, the truth is that such a relationship can be liberating for some people. For example, it manages to bring a lot more honesty into the mix, which can prove to be very beneficial. You can talk about jealousy, being attracted to other people, emotional needs, or boundaries without having to worry as much.
Additionally, an open relationship will help you focus on personal growth. It allows you to eliminate boundaries and show your raw emotions in better ways than expected. In the long run, it brings that much-needed emotional growth that you definitely want to think of. Plus, it also reduces the pressure found on a single partner. Instead, both partners can focus more on wellbeing and health, social experiences, and romance, instead of just one.
Yet at the same time, the open relationship also offers an inherent sense of autonomy as well, because you get to have a say in what you want to do. A traditional relationship doesn’t offer the degree of freedom that you would get from something like this, so it’s crucial to take it all into consideration.
Or Is It a Ticking Bomb?
Once you learn what is an open relationship, you realize that alongside pros, there are some downsides to it as well. For example, jealousy will not disappear. There will be a partner who has a much better result dating. Also, with this relationship, it becomes very easy for boundaries to become very blurred, and that’s not going to be a good thing.
The same goes for unequal power dynamics. For example, one of the partners wants to be in the open relationship, but the other one doesn’t, yet they agree to it because they have no choice. Plus, in these open relationships, emotional attachments might happen. Your partner could end up with someone else because they felt connected to another person.
And aside from that, such a relationship can mask deeper issues within your existing couple. Maybe you have boredom and that’s why you want an open relationship. Or maybe there is sexual dissatisfaction, emotional disconnection or anything of that nature. It’s a better idea to try and solve those existing problems beforehand, instead of trying to find a temporary solution like this.
What matters the most in an open relationship?
- If you want the open relationship to work properly, then you need a lot of transparency. Don’t expect such a relationship to work if you are constantly lying to your partner. You need to be honest with one another.
- Additionally, you want to define your boundaries clearly. That might include no emotional relationships, no shared friends, using safe sex practices, and not seeing the same person twice.
- Doing regular check-ins is handy, because it will allow you to re-organize the open relationship rules based on anything new that happened.
- Focus on equal treatment. Don’t offer your partner more benefits than the ones you receive. You need to have a solid foundation when it comes to these rules.
- You both need to remember that your primary relationship comes first. Without that priority, you’ll drift emotionally and lose stability — and that’s exactly what you want to avoid.
When do you know the open relationship works?
As we mentioned earlier, these open relationships won’t work for everyone. But there are times when they might actually help some people. You will know such a relationship works because both partners are emotionally secure, they communicate, they respect their own boundaries and there’s no sense of resentment or anything of that nature.
However, in these open relationships, there is a hard truth that some people tend to avoid. Realistically, switching from a traditional relationship to an open one will not fix your relationship. If anything, it will only show the cracks and deepen them even more.
Just because you are changing the relationship structure, that doesn’t mean you are automatically fixing what is broken. Instead, your focus is on figuring out the issues and solving them before you switch your relationship to an open one.
So, is it liberating or a time bomb?
It can depend on the open relationship rules and the agreement between the two people. But realistically, it can be both. For some people, it will be liberating, because there’s still mutual desire, communication and set boundaries rule the entire experience. Then again, it can be a time bomb when the open relationship is driven by unrealistic expectations, a bad foundation, and a constant sense of avoidance.
An open relationship is all about trust, and knowing that your partner will do the right thing. It still allows you to experiment and find happiness that way, alongside your partner and with their consent. The open relationship can be a good option if what you are seeking is emotional safety and respect, along with ways to help fuel your relationship. And while it’s going to take a while to get used to set rules, such a relationship can help you find happiness, while also enjoying some much-wanted freedom!